People Of Phoenix: Super Bum Schitzophrenic

People Of Phoenix!! Much like People Of Walmart, This is going to be a special segment dedicated to those special people in Phoenix that help make my day to day interesting!

This specific post is not meant to be funny necessarily, because mental illness isn't funny, but this situation...had me laughing!

So I go outside to smoke a cig at work, and Super Bum, one of our local bums that walk around here was having a lovely, LOUD conversation with himself. A little background..I call him "Super Bum" because this guy is about 60-65 years old, with an 8 pack of rock hard abs, and giant arm muscles. He's got brown leather tanned skin from being exposed to the sun through years of homelessness. I occasionally see him walking around or sitting on the curb curling his backpack as if they were weights.

Anyway....

So I'm outside and I hear his conversation with himself..Something along the lines of:

 "I'll fucking burn you! I'll set your ass on fire and kick you in the fucking face! Don't talk to ME like that! Talk to me like that again and I'll be blowing your house apart!"

I am staring at him listening, completely entertained while smoking my cig, and he looks over. SHIT! He locked eyes with me. I see him start to cross the street heading towards me. I get up and go inside (DUH)...He makes it about half way across the street, then seemed to be suddenly exhausted because he sat down in the middle of the road...still arguing with himself.

After a few minutes of this, he seemed to come to an agreement with his inner self, be cause he screamed OK THANKS, JESUS! He then got up real casually, and walked back to the sidewalk, then kept going as if he snapped right out of it.

I wish I'd have gotten his picture! I'm usually really good about that but this time I didn't think fast enough. I am sure I will get my chance as I see this guy every weeks at least once!

So to satisfy your thirst for photos, here are a few fresh out of our local magazine "The Phoenix Slammer"


                                                      Long Hair Don't Care

Jonathan Casias -

 Assault

Pouty Party Pooper

Crystal Bonsall -

Failure To Pay Fines/Fees
Issuing Bad Check

Harold Sans Kumar Snagged In Phoenix

Brandon William Leiberman-

 

Driving With Suspended License

DWI (Imagine that?!)

 

Sleepy Slammer

Samantha Dawn DeBarge-

Dangerous Drug Poss/Use
Narcotic Drug Poss/Use
Drug Parapernalia Poss/Use
Shoplifting/Concealment

Flash Fool

Roberto Juneo Nephi-

 

Drug Paraphernalia Poss/Use

Drive W/ Sus Lic

Fail To Show Lic or ID

DRUG PARAPHERNALIA-POSSESS/USE

DRIVE W/LIC SUSP/REVOKE/CANC

FAIL TO SHOW DRIV LIC OR ID

 

Stay tuned for the next People Of Phoenix post!